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Jester
please dont be mean to me

Age 26, Male

wizard

Virginia

Joined on 8/29/10

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The Story of How Jester Fucked Up

Posted by Jester - November 27th, 2013


Middle school was shitty. In Middle school, I was shitty. I got pudgy, got glasses, got acne, got horny, fell in love with a girl who didn't know I existed, the whole nine yards. Like every pudgy, horny kid with shitty skin and impaired vision, I hated P.E., a class that everyone was required to take for one block every school day because of communist laws regarding standards of education. One fateful 7th grade day in P.E. we had to play a game that I can only conclude was designed to make nerds kill themselves.

The teacher would pick groups of 5 people who would then stand in a line with about 5 feet of space between each person. The person at the head of the line was given a tennis ball. They would throw it to the person second in line, who would catch it and throw it back to the first person, who would then throw it to the third person, and so on. If the ball was dropped between when it was thrown the first time and when it was the last person's turn, the round would restart. Once the person in the back of the line caught the ball, they would go to the front of the line. Ad infinitum.

I've never been a good catcher. I like to think i'm capable now, but in 7th grade my motor skills were dogshit. When we began the game I was the last person in line. Everyone ahead of me caught it, everyone ahead of me threw it back, the ball was thrown to me, I moved my hands in the general way I believed people moved their hands to catch, and I dropped it. We restarted, everyone caught it, yadda ya, my turn, I fucked up again. As every group around us went through their cycles, mine stayed where we were, with me fucking up every time I had to catch the ball. This went on for the next hour. Each time I dropped the ball I felt the strangers in my group honestly loathe me more and more, which is a kind of personal hell for me. At the end of the block, the guy immediately in front of me just picked up the ball after I dropped it for the umpteenth time, put it in my hand, and said "Learn to catch a fucking ball."

This experience has been reflected in basically everything I've ever done since then. The moral of the story is fuck P.E.

The Story of How Jester Fucked Up


Comments

Wanna play catch some time?

"More like we're playing a game of drop"

I kid, but did you get better at catching the ball? What happened next?

What happened next was I became the self-loathing schizoid with an overwhelming fear of being hated that I am today. Things turned out pretty neat though.

Playing Bioshock Infinite would cause a trauma, "Booker, catch" D:

It's OK, Killerskull. Skaren taught him how to catch.

Skaren taught me how to hate more effectively

He also taught you how to take a dick.

Oh trust me, I learned that long ago

He didn't teach you how to suck one.

I'm pretty inexperienced with it. It's a lot like watching a pug eat a pickle off the floor.

محمد هو الاستغلال الجنسي للأطفال والاحتيال

Translates just enough to tell it's about Muhammad and sexual exploitation