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Jester
please dont be mean to me

Age 26, Male

wizard

Virginia

Joined on 8/29/10

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Jester's News

Posted by Jester - May 10th, 2014


Do whatever makes you laugh, lads.

 

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Posted by Jester - March 16th, 2014


There aren't enough hours in the day for me to do things my way.

 

            

 

 

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Posted by Jester - February 18th, 2014


To do: 

1. Nickname all intermediate-tier friends (check)

2. Don't kill self (in progress)

3. Fuck self/others (check)

4. Regret fucking self/others (el grande checko)

5. Do homework beside me that i'm writing this instead of doing (pending)

6. Swagger (in progress)

Also I was beaten until I rotoscoped a video of myself.

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Posted by Jester - January 23rd, 2014


2014 is pretty shit, but at least Archer is back on TV.

Now for the musical portion of our show

also my cat again

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also my other cat

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Posted by Jester - December 29th, 2013


At least half of my problems can be solved by cramming things

 

Shit I Listen To: Orchestral Edition

    

 

 

 

 

also here is my cat

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Posted by Jester - December 15th, 2013


I've been told I look like PewdiePie 3 times this week and they changed the news post system. I'm struggling. 

Now here's music I like. 

 

 

 

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Posted by Jester - November 27th, 2013


Middle school was shitty. In Middle school, I was shitty. I got pudgy, got glasses, got acne, got horny, fell in love with a girl who didn't know I existed, the whole nine yards. Like every pudgy, horny kid with shitty skin and impaired vision, I hated P.E., a class that everyone was required to take for one block every school day because of communist laws regarding standards of education. One fateful 7th grade day in P.E. we had to play a game that I can only conclude was designed to make nerds kill themselves.

The teacher would pick groups of 5 people who would then stand in a line with about 5 feet of space between each person. The person at the head of the line was given a tennis ball. They would throw it to the person second in line, who would catch it and throw it back to the first person, who would then throw it to the third person, and so on. If the ball was dropped between when it was thrown the first time and when it was the last person's turn, the round would restart. Once the person in the back of the line caught the ball, they would go to the front of the line. Ad infinitum.

I've never been a good catcher. I like to think i'm capable now, but in 7th grade my motor skills were dogshit. When we began the game I was the last person in line. Everyone ahead of me caught it, everyone ahead of me threw it back, the ball was thrown to me, I moved my hands in the general way I believed people moved their hands to catch, and I dropped it. We restarted, everyone caught it, yadda ya, my turn, I fucked up again. As every group around us went through their cycles, mine stayed where we were, with me fucking up every time I had to catch the ball. This went on for the next hour. Each time I dropped the ball I felt the strangers in my group honestly loathe me more and more, which is a kind of personal hell for me. At the end of the block, the guy immediately in front of me just picked up the ball after I dropped it for the umpteenth time, put it in my hand, and said "Learn to catch a fucking ball."

This experience has been reflected in basically everything I've ever done since then. The moral of the story is fuck P.E.

The Story of How Jester Fucked Up


Posted by Jester - November 3rd, 2013


One day i'm going to own a museum that displays uniforms from all the major wars of history, but instead of mannequins, i'm going to pay people who fit the given appropriate ethnic profile to put on the uniforms and stand still for hours on end. It won't be open to the public.


Posted by Jester - September 28th, 2013


Robotic dogs still love bones


Posted by Jester - September 14th, 2013


Prostitutes with peg legs seem impractical, but if there are well-off aristocrats who happen to have that fetish and lots of extra money, it could be a feasible business model.